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very fucking apt.

I regret the first fight and everything goes tumbling down right after.

September oh september

I'm down with fever again, yes again! My throat isn't giving me a very good time either. I swear I'll marry the person who has the ability to make me feel better. And I've got the most terrible craving, Reese peanut butter cups. Tumblr is the new evil, the pictures ain't helping.

And I came across this:

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – your aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

— Bob Marley

Point 8 is so not true because whatever that comes in the mail is my cc bills and I'm depressed again.

August going September

August going september imo is always the toughest period for me. It doesn't just happened to happen this year but me thinks it has become sucha nasty routine it happens every other year. I have no idea why but God made it this way but I'm trying my bestest to get along.

I'm struggling to find closure now and I'm hopeful this closure will come by no later than the end of the year.

On a happier note, eh wait there's no happier note to begin with when my life is so so messed up right now. Needa sleep now.

trying to find inner peace

I'm sitting on the (same) bench in p.park right now, a book in hand and cigs on the other. Everything is good except for the noise pollution from an indian couple seated two benches away, the plentiful of mozzies and the insufficient light that is making reading difficult. And as I'm scratching my itchy spots the tummy is growling. Okay time for food.

BORED!

Friday night, I'm at home waiting for my mama to bring me food. Oh someone bring me out already :( this is a rant I swear.

domomomooo

I'm gonna save monies to buy one huge domo, without the kitty. Awesome cute stuff and I shamelessly use this peekture as mr.bb's wallpaper :D

hug me to sleep?

My body temperature has been fluctuating between fever, no fever, fever and no fever. The last I measured it was 38.1. Nothing to worry about yet but I'm super annoyed. Point is, whenever I get under the blanket it gets too warm/hot and when I'm above I feel too cold. Anyway, I think drank enough water to fill a swimming pool. Let me list it out. 2 bottles of honey lemon water, 2 bottles of mineral water, one coke, one teh-o peng and one apple sparkling. Okay maybe not swimming pool pool but those makeshift kiddy pool you buy from toysrus and you put it in your backyard for leisure suntanning kind. You get my drift. My throat is hurting like a little bitch and every now and then I cough out phlegm(sp?) yellow enough to fit into the rainbow. Wells, hopefully I will be well enough to chaperone the kids from wdlds tomorrow to wherever the dinner destination is. So exciting! Now I will huggsie mr.monkey to sleep and wake up a duracell bunny. Goodnighty all.

Note to self:
1. Pack room
2. Pack undies rack
3. Pack wardrobe
4. Set alarm and wake early
5. Sleep now

my 13th post this year

I realised there's only 12 posts for this year, well what can I say? There's nothing major in my life maybe for the occasional eh! my stomach ached today, oh! I'm having toothache again (oh ya! I forgot all about the drama for the first two months that scarred my weak heart pretty badly). I'm still pretty sore about not having a trip out somewhere after graduation but I guess that can wait till I find a job proper, save my own monies and spend monies like there's no tomorrow. August is here and we are fast approaching mid month, this means exams ended for nearly 2months already. Great! I better do something to save my broke ass :(((

from mr.bb

I msged the neighbour for a smoke but I guess he fell asleep and I was so desperate I went out on the pretext of transferring monies and now I'm at the playground smoking my third stick. Mosquitoes are flying everywhere and they are feeding on me as if I'm the only plate of sushi on the conveyor belt. I'm sucha good example of desperate smoker. Ha!

the reason im writing

I nearly fell asleep but the toothache kicked in and now I'm waiting for the painkillers to take effect before I can go back to sleep again.

There I rest my case ...

You know that a leopard can never change its spot. The spots will always be there and you will always be you.

And my heart turned cold.

I'm in a worse state than I am on Wednesday afternoon after knowing I lost everything so important to me. Oh God! I think I'm turning suicidal. I could use a free tix right now, doesn't help when I'm sipping the pomegranate green tea I used to have in bkk .

Today I took the longest train ride home to sort out everything in my already screwed brain. Yes, some got sorted out others remained the way the are.

barely breathing

This entire week is not awesome and I'm in a state of wreck right now. Three more days to the end of the week and I'm barely surviving. I got locked out of the house twice in a week, lost moolahs, lost everything important to me. It doesn't help to have my mum telling everyone around her to help me look for a job.

I'm grounding myself at home in my room this weekend, thank god for the plentiful of dvds I have on had. Pray for me.

this is war baby

Exams ended 10million years ago, no it just ended one week ago and I have ridiculous requests that I get my butt down to work already. This issue has been around for the whole week and this issue is between me and Grumps. He called on my mobile 5days ago, demanded me to explain my after exams plans or rather when to start work plans. I told him da da da this is what I'm gonna do and he accepted it. 2days later, I was on my bed getting ready to sleep, he opened the door screamed at me and ask what was I gonna do since it's been forever that I ended the last paper! SO LONG? It was barely a week. I declared war and now I'm slightly regretting the decision made. I don't think I'm ever getting allowance for the rest of me life. Gawd! And my mind is made up, moving out plan is so gonna happen no matter what. Emp says I'm crazy, I told her it's either him or me, someone's gonna move out somehow. The idea seems warped but to me this is how I'm gonna attain peace, inner or outer whichever that rocks my boat. So while I'm taking my time to find a full time, I'm just gonna settle for a part time. Some job I can earn quick cash to bring myself outta sg, reward meself for studying so hard and to get away from the so many issues I'm facing now. So, any jobs anybody?

On a side note, I applaud myself (gave myself a pat on my back too) for not hitting the clubs. I was discussing it with the older one and he too is proud of me. I can't bear to tell him maybe the reason was that my PIC is not in town and I'm lacking moolahs. Well, I'm just gonna leave it at that. The older one hardly praises me for anything at all.

ps: checked the tix. 110, very enticing but that means I must sleep on the streets. why is it so hard?

Oh mom!

As I'm struggling to finish my last lap my mom popped me the important question "you sent out your resume yet?". Hell no mom, idk if this last lap is really my last but I'm doing my very best mom (I'm praying hard doubly hard too).

Happy momma day Mummy. I love you from the bottom of my weak heart and I know you love me too. Please have some faith in me that me will provide the best for you when I start work.

XOXO

somewhere somehow

I have no idea what went wrong, somehow this don't work anymore.

the postcnypost

Ahh neo! I have had too much of kimchi and I'm so glad I'm a sgrean. I whined the whole ride home for food and so kor brought me to nowhere fantastic for cai tao kway which is still awesome for me. The cold dishes/kimchi/or te ba diet certainly not my cup of tea. BUT THEN AGAIN, I'm still having withdrawal syptoms, especially the weather. It's fucking hot here. Ogays, I'm running to hide in my room now, all airconditioned and it's time to crash!

ps: I'm feeling sad that I missed cny in sg though (I had my mini celeb in a room drinking with the tour grp mates).

one pint please

As the tittle suggests. I'm in need of quality beer right now either hoe or kilkenny, either makes me happy.

SO SICK

I walked out of the house today looking like a total wreck, there's this huge itchy bump on my under eye. Don't know how did it get there, don't know what had gotten inside. Fugly plus hideous, that's the 2 words that best describe me then and now. It felt like I was perpetually smiling(if you saw me you will understand what that means) and my right eye was practically just a slit. I took the bus from sk to yi wishing so hard that there was sun still so I can wear my shades to cover up the eye. When I got to 326 level 10, the owner of the house open the door and started laughing at the sight of yours truly. Life sucks, me too. Now, the dilemma I don't know if I should consult the doc or just let the swelling go down on its own. We shall see.

My my, it's 4am now. My notes are still sitting on the table untouched. Grrr, I should sleep away the swelling and hopefully the new day brings new hope(for the eye).

ps: I just met D ultimate loser.
pps: that aside 3 more days to korea.