from mr.bb

I msged the neighbour for a smoke but I guess he fell asleep and I was so desperate I went out on the pretext of transferring monies and now I'm at the playground smoking my third stick. Mosquitoes are flying everywhere and they are feeding on me as if I'm the only plate of sushi on the conveyor belt. I'm sucha good example of desperate smoker. Ha!

the reason im writing

I nearly fell asleep but the toothache kicked in and now I'm waiting for the painkillers to take effect before I can go back to sleep again.

There I rest my case ...

You know that a leopard can never change its spot. The spots will always be there and you will always be you.

And my heart turned cold.

I'm in a worse state than I am on Wednesday afternoon after knowing I lost everything so important to me. Oh God! I think I'm turning suicidal. I could use a free tix right now, doesn't help when I'm sipping the pomegranate green tea I used to have in bkk .

Today I took the longest train ride home to sort out everything in my already screwed brain. Yes, some got sorted out others remained the way the are.

barely breathing

This entire week is not awesome and I'm in a state of wreck right now. Three more days to the end of the week and I'm barely surviving. I got locked out of the house twice in a week, lost moolahs, lost everything important to me. It doesn't help to have my mum telling everyone around her to help me look for a job.

I'm grounding myself at home in my room this weekend, thank god for the plentiful of dvds I have on had. Pray for me.